That Drifting Excrement Was Far Too Meaningful! It's the TV Letdowns of the Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the television offerings of the past year, a selection of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. From awkward spin-offs to confusingly poor documentaries, here are the productions that had us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with dreadful scripts, painful arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final series started, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then arrived an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator declared this would be the last series. It ended on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s loo full of poo was just way too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a little sob?

All’s Fair

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the smallest of this show's issues. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon zero star assessment, it was difficult to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The mind-numbing glorification of affluence and consumption? The seemingly deliberate procession of cliches? Performances so bad they felt borderline malicious? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and forget about this show again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Given the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and fatherly shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d really have gleaned it from this multi-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charismatic but flippant narcissist.

The Iris Affair

Of course we knew it was preposterous from the outset: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

The Gangster Drama

Shady characters convening in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

Actually, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just really dull; a dispute over narcotics territory between various London rogues which felt rather simplistic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Considering the extent to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s performatively enraged commentators, it’s almost easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into twee lifestyle as deliberate statements. But then you watch them and are compelled to concede that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue animated; a poster for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark sayings and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by immense, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly fascinating things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, self-image, self-worth. But for some reason, this documentary series chose not to explore them. Rather, the viewing was like consuming a sales brochure. She obviously has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As contestants competed, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too complicated to explain what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up reeking of a programme that was trying way too hard to emulate something far greater than it.

Too Much

How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart recruitment of gifted emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a single joke milked to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be treated with care. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lurching from strangely breezy, somewhat mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely.

Prime Target

We admire the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – intellectuals frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator notorious for explicit escapades as she undertook her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was way more examination of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who appeared to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and zero critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.